Orum and Waric quest proofreading and editing

All the NPCs involved in the quest have been edited, with help from Dyna.

1 files changed, 12 insertions, 12 deletions

diff --git a/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt b/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt
index 6562d8e8..345ecf2a 100644
--- a/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt
+++ b/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt
@@ -7,11 +7,11 @@
 
     if (OrumQuest == 30) goto L_FifthFlower;
 
-    message strcharinfo(0), "Something is odd with this place.";
+    message strcharinfo(0), "Something is odd about this place.";
     end;
 
 L_FifthFlower:
-    mes "This have to be the place for the last magical flower. When you place it, the pentagram will be completed.";
+    mes "This has to be the spot for the last magical flower. When you place it, the pentagram will be completed.";
     menu
         "Place the flower.", -,
         "Leave.", L_Close;
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ L_FifthFlower:
     if (isin("056-1.gat", 61, 30, 63, 32))
         goto L_Place;
 
-    mes "This doesn't work, you're too far away.";
+    mes "This isn't working, you're too far away.";
     goto L_Close;
 
 L_Place:
@@ -36,9 +36,9 @@ L_Place:
     if (@localMonsterCount > 4)
         goto L_MonstersAlive;
 
-    mes "Nervous of what's going to happen, you take the last of the flowers and put it into place.";
+    mes "Nervous about what's going to happen, you take the last of the flowers and put it into its place.";
     next;
-    mes "Tension builds up around you, much stronger than all the times before. It pressures your head, your nose starts bleeding.";
+    mes "Tension builds up around you, much stronger than before. You can feel it compressing your head, and a liquid warmth spreads under your nose, leaving a metallic taste on your lips.";
     heal -5, 0;
     next;
     callfunc "FlowerPentagramCount";
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ L_Place:
         goto L_NoFlower;
     delitem "RedSummonFlower", 1;
 
-    mes "The moment you think you can't endure it anymore, the webbing of the world seems to tear apart.";
+    mes "The pressure builds to the point where you don't think you can endure it any longer; the fabric that binds your consciousness together seemingly unravels.";
     set OrumQuest, 31;
     close2;
     areamonster "056-1.gat", 56, 26, 80, 46, "", 1105, 3, "#FlowerPentagram5::OnSquirrelDeath";
@@ -107,18 +107,18 @@ OnBScorpionDeath:
     end;
 
 L_TooEarly:
-    mes "Then everything calms down again and then tension vanishes. You're unsure what's going on.";
+    mes "Suddenly, everything calms down again and the tension vanishes. You find yourself confused about what's going on.";
     next;
     mes "You pick up the flower again.";
     next;
-    mes "Looking at the place more closely, it seems another summoning has happened just before, leaving the path between this world and the astral plane drained and exhausted.";
+    mes "Looking at the place more closely, it seems another summoning has happened just before, leaving the pathway between this world and the astral plane drained and exhausted.";
     next;
-    mes "You should wait a while until it recovers, or go and search the creatures that got summoned.";
+    mes "You should wait a while until it recharges, or go and search for the creatures that were summoned.";
     goto L_Close;
 
 L_MonstersAlive:
     mes "As you get closer to the place, you feel an unnerving presence.";
-    mes "The place has recently been used to summon something! And the beings are still near!";
+    mes "This place has recently been used to summon something! And the beings are still nearby!";
     next;
     mes "You should get rid of them before attempting the summoning yourself.";
     goto L_Close;
@@ -129,8 +129,8 @@ L_NoFlower:
     goto L_Close;
 
 L_PlacedFifthFlower:
-    mes "This is the place where you put the last one of Orum's magical flowers.";
-    mes "But after the pentagram was finished and the summoning happened, everything is back to normal with this spot.";
+    mes "This is where you placed the last of Orum's magical flowers.";
+    mes "However, now that the summoning spell has been cast, everything is back to normal here.";
     goto L_Close;
 
 L_Close: