From 5df19e3c04e55acad16f28c38ba29055c58d3b85 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Dino Paskvan Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 16:05:44 +0200 Subject: Orum and Waric quest proofreading and editing All the NPCs involved in the quest have been edited, with help from Dyna. --- world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt | 24 ++++++++++++------------ 1 file changed, 12 insertions(+), 12 deletions(-) (limited to 'world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt') diff --git a/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt b/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt index 6562d8e8..345ecf2a 100644 --- a/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt +++ b/world/map/npc/056-1/flowerpentagram5.txt @@ -7,11 +7,11 @@ if (OrumQuest == 30) goto L_FifthFlower; - message strcharinfo(0), "Something is odd with this place."; + message strcharinfo(0), "Something is odd about this place."; end; L_FifthFlower: - mes "This have to be the place for the last magical flower. When you place it, the pentagram will be completed."; + mes "This has to be the spot for the last magical flower. When you place it, the pentagram will be completed."; menu "Place the flower.", -, "Leave.", L_Close; @@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ L_FifthFlower: if (isin("056-1.gat", 61, 30, 63, 32)) goto L_Place; - mes "This doesn't work, you're too far away."; + mes "This isn't working, you're too far away."; goto L_Close; L_Place: @@ -36,9 +36,9 @@ L_Place: if (@localMonsterCount > 4) goto L_MonstersAlive; - mes "Nervous of what's going to happen, you take the last of the flowers and put it into place."; + mes "Nervous about what's going to happen, you take the last of the flowers and put it into its place."; next; - mes "Tension builds up around you, much stronger than all the times before. It pressures your head, your nose starts bleeding."; + mes "Tension builds up around you, much stronger than before. You can feel it compressing your head, and a liquid warmth spreads under your nose, leaving a metallic taste on your lips."; heal -5, 0; next; callfunc "FlowerPentagramCount"; @@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ L_Place: goto L_NoFlower; delitem "RedSummonFlower", 1; - mes "The moment you think you can't endure it anymore, the webbing of the world seems to tear apart."; + mes "The pressure builds to the point where you don't think you can endure it any longer; the fabric that binds your consciousness together seemingly unravels."; set OrumQuest, 31; close2; areamonster "056-1.gat", 56, 26, 80, 46, "", 1105, 3, "#FlowerPentagram5::OnSquirrelDeath"; @@ -107,18 +107,18 @@ OnBScorpionDeath: end; L_TooEarly: - mes "Then everything calms down again and then tension vanishes. You're unsure what's going on."; + mes "Suddenly, everything calms down again and the tension vanishes. You find yourself confused about what's going on."; next; mes "You pick up the flower again."; next; - mes "Looking at the place more closely, it seems another summoning has happened just before, leaving the path between this world and the astral plane drained and exhausted."; + mes "Looking at the place more closely, it seems another summoning has happened just before, leaving the pathway between this world and the astral plane drained and exhausted."; next; - mes "You should wait a while until it recovers, or go and search the creatures that got summoned."; + mes "You should wait a while until it recharges, or go and search for the creatures that were summoned."; goto L_Close; L_MonstersAlive: mes "As you get closer to the place, you feel an unnerving presence."; - mes "The place has recently been used to summon something! And the beings are still near!"; + mes "This place has recently been used to summon something! And the beings are still nearby!"; next; mes "You should get rid of them before attempting the summoning yourself."; goto L_Close; @@ -129,8 +129,8 @@ L_NoFlower: goto L_Close; L_PlacedFifthFlower: - mes "This is the place where you put the last one of Orum's magical flowers."; - mes "But after the pentagram was finished and the summoning happened, everything is back to normal with this spot."; + mes "This is where you placed the last of Orum's magical flowers."; + mes "However, now that the summoning spell has been cast, everything is back to normal here."; goto L_Close; L_Close: -- cgit v1.2.3-60-g2f50