Replace Hurnscald Tree.

3 files changed, 1486 insertions, 65 deletions

diff --git a/npc/annuals/tree_beard.txt b/npc/annuals/tree_beard.txt
index a7866f2b..e0a4d1b2 100644
--- a/npc/annuals/tree_beard.txt
+++ b/npc/annuals/tree_beard.txt
@@ -1,60 +1,21 @@
-020-1,90,78,0	script	#GhostTreeOne	NPC133,{
-    callfunc "HalloweenTree";
-    close;
-}
-
-020-1,90,78,0	script	#Tree	NPC380,{
-    end;
-}
-
-020-1,90,78,0	script	#XmasTree	NPC379,{
-    end;
-}
-
 020-1,90,79,0	script	Present#1	NPC386,{
     callfunc "XmasStates";
     callfunc "XmasMainItemReward";
     close;
 }
 
-009-1,54,38,0	script	#GhostTreeTwo	NPC133,{
-    callfunc "HalloweenTree";
-    close;
-}
-
-009-1,54,38,0	script	#TreeNoSnow	NPC394,{
-    end;
-}
-
-009-1,54,38,0	script	#XmasTreeNoSnow	NPC381,{
-    end;
-}
-
 009-1,54,39,0	script	Present#2	NPC386,{
     callfunc "XmasStates";
     callfunc "XmasMainItemReward";
     close;
 }
 
-001-1,57,75,0	script	#GhostTreeThree	NPC133,{
-    callfunc "HalloweenTree";
-    close;
-}
-
-001-1,58,75,0	script	#PalmTree	NPC384,{
-    end;
-}
-
 001-1,58,76,0	script	Present#3	NPC386,{
     callfunc "XmasStates";
     callfunc "XmasMainItemReward";
     close;
 }
 
-001-1,58,75,0	script	#XmasPalmTree	NPC383,{
-    end;
-}
-
 function	script	SpawnMobs	{
     donpcevent "XmasSpawnManager::OnCommandSpawnStart";
     return;
@@ -82,40 +43,984 @@ L_Return:
 }
 
 function	script	ReplaceTrees	{
-    disablenpc "#Tree";
-    disablenpc "#TreeNoSnow";
-    disablenpc "#PalmTree";
-    disablenpc "#GhostTreeOne";
-    disablenpc "#GhostTreeTwo";
-    disablenpc "#GhostTreeThree";
-    disablenpc "#XmasTree";
-    disablenpc "#XmasTreeNoSnow";
-    disablenpc "#XmasPalmTree";
-
     if ($@xmas_time)
         goto L_XmasTree;
     if ($@halloween_time)
         goto L_HalloweenLive;
-    goto L_Tree;
+
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedTree", NPC394);
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedIcedTree", NPC380);
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedPalmTree", NPC384);
+    return;
 
 L_XmasTree:
-    enablenpc "#XmasTree";
-    enablenpc "#XmasTreeNoSnow";
-    enablenpc "#XmasPalmTree";
-    goto L_Return;
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedTree", NPC381);
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedIcedTree", NPC379);
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedPalmTree", NPC383);
+    return;
 
 L_HalloweenLive:
-    enablenpc "#GhostTreeOne";
-    enablenpc "#GhostTreeTwo";
-    enablenpc "#GhostTreeThree";
-    goto L_Return;
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedTree", NPC133);
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedIcedTree", NPC133);
+    setnpcdisplay("#ConfusedPalmTree", NPC133);
+    return;
+}
 
-L_Tree:
-    enablenpc "#Tree";
-    enablenpc "#TreeNoSnow";
-    enablenpc "#PalmTree";
-    goto L_Return;
+// Evol scripts.
+// Author:
+//    gumi
+// Based on CrazyTree, originally made by:
+//    gumi
+//    pclouds
+//    veryape
+//    wushin
+// Description:
+//    emulated confused tree prototype
 
-L_Return:
-    return;
+// ~t  lowercase hot word regex
+
+009-1,54,38,0	script	#ConfusedTree	NPC394,14,14,{
+
+    function tree_panel {
+        if (is_trusted() == false && #Tree_Trusted == false)
+        {
+            narrator(l("You see a tree."));
+            if (getq(HurnscaldQuests_Inspector) == 2)
+            {
+                select(
+                    l("Have you seen anything strange lately?"),
+                    l("Do you know anything about the recent robberies?"));
+
+                narrator(S_FIRST_BLANK_LINE,
+                    l("..."),
+                    l("It doesn't reply."));
+            }
+            close;
+        }
+
+        function clear_db {
+            clear();
+            mes(l("##BWARNING:##b you are about to permanently empty the quote database."));
+            next();
+            mes(l("Do you want to continue?"));
+
+            select(
+                l("Abort!"),
+                l("Empty the quote DB"));
+
+            if (@menu == 2)
+            {
+                .@sentence$ = "I am an idiot";
+                mes(l("Please write the following sentence:"));
+                mes("");
+                mesf("    ##B%s.", .@sentence$);
+                input(.@confirm$);
+
+                if (!startswith(strtoupper(.@confirm$), strtoupper(.@sentence$))) {
+                    mes(l("Invalid!"));
+                    close;
+                }
+
+                query_sql("TRUNCATE TABLE tree_quotes;");
+                mes(l("Database erased."));
+                next();
+            }
+
+            return;
+        }
+
+        function list_commands {
+            clear();
+            mes(l("To grab a quote:"));
+            mes(col("    ~grab ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+            next();
+            mes(l("To get a quote:"));
+            mes(col("    ~quote anyone", 7));
+            mes(col("    ~quote ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+            mes(col("    ~quote ##B#number##b", 7));
+            next();
+            mes(l("To remove a quote:"));
+            mes(col("    ~remove quote ##B#number##b", 7));
+            mes(col("    ~remove last quote", 7));
+            next();
+            mes(l("Last seen:"));
+            mes(col("    ~seen ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+            next();
+            mes(l("To ignore a player:"));
+            mes(col("    ~ignore ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+            next();
+            mes(l("To unignore a player:"));
+            mes(col("    ~unignore ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+            next();
+
+            if (is_admin())
+            {
+                mes(l("To trust a player:"));
+                mes(col("    ~trust ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+                next();
+                mes(l("To de-trust a player:"));
+                mes(col("    ~untrust ##Bplayer name##b", 7));
+                next();
+            }
+            return;
+        }
+
+        do
+        {
+            clear();
+            setnpcdialogtitle(l("Tree Control Panel"));
+            mes(l("Oh noes! You found my secret backdoor!"));
+            next();
+            mes(l("Please select an option:"));
+
+            select(
+                l("List the commands"),
+                rif(is_admin(), l("Empty the quote DB")),
+                l("Dance for me"));
+
+            switch (@menu)
+            {
+            case 1: list_commands(); break;
+            case 2: clear_db(); break;
+            default: speech(l("Too lazy.")); close;
+            }
+
+        } while (true);
+
+        end;
+    }
+
+    // utility functions below
+
+    function check_is_ignored {
+        .@val = htget(.ignore_ht, strcharinfo(PC_NAME), 0);
+
+        if (.@val > gettimetick(2))
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            end;
+        }
+
+        else if (.@val > 0)
+        {
+            htput(.ignore_ht, strcharinfo(PC_NAME), 0); // remove expired entries
+        }
+
+        return;
+    }
+
+    function special_name {
+        .@name$ = strcharinfo(PC_NAME);
+        .@low$ = strtolower(.@name$);
+
+        if (rand(.sname_rate) == 0)
+        {
+            for (.@i = 0; .@i < .alias; .@i += 2)
+            {
+                if (.@low$ ~= .alias$[.@i])
+                {
+                    explode(.@aliases$, .alias$[.@i+1], "`");
+                    .@name$ = .@aliases$[rand(getarraysize(.@aliases$))];
+                    break;
+                }
+            }
+        }
+
+        return .@name$;
+    }
+
+    function face {
+        if (gettimetick(2) - .last_emote < .emote_rate)
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            return;
+        }
+
+        .last_emote = gettimetick(2);
+        return emotion(getarg(0, E_SURPRISE));
+    }
+
+    function rp {
+        // used for queries
+        return replacestr(getarg(0,""), "~t", strtolower("(?:" + .name$ + "|" + .hotwords$ + ")"));
+    }
+
+    function format_reply {
+        // used for replies
+        .@str$ = getarg(0, "");
+
+        // search for {{mustaches}}
+        while (.@str$ ~= "{{([^}]+)}}")
+        {
+            .@sub$ = replacestr($@regexmatch$[1], " ", ""); // remove whitespaces
+            .@sub$ = strtolower(.@sub$); // always lowercase the var name
+            .@capitalize = .@titlecase = .@allcaps = false;
+
+            if (charat(.@sub$, 0) == "^")
+            {
+                .@capitalize = true;
+                .@sub$ = substr(.@sub$, 1, getstrlen(.@sub$) - 1); // strip first char
+            }
+
+            else if (charat(.@sub$, 0) == "+")
+            {
+                .@titlecase = true;
+                .@sub$ = substr(.@sub$, 1, getstrlen(.@sub$) - 1); // strip first char
+            }
+
+            else if (charat(.@sub$, 0) == "!")
+            {
+                .@allcaps = true;
+                .@sub$ = substr(.@sub$, 1, getstrlen(.@sub$) - 1); // strip first char
+            }
+
+            if (compare(.@sub$, ",")) {
+                .@var$ = sprintf(".H%s$", substr(md5(.@sub$), 0, 25));
+
+                if (getelementofarray(getd(.@var$), 1) == "") {
+                    explode(.@sub2$, .@sub$, ",");
+                    .@size = 1;
+
+                    for (.@i = 0; .@i < getarraysize(.@sub2$); ++.@i) {
+                        .@subsize = getd(sprintf(".D_%s", .@sub2$));
+                        copyarray(getelementofarray(getd(.@var$), .@size), getd(sprintf(".D_%s$[1]", .@sub2$)), .@subsize);
+                        .@size += .@subsize;
+                    }
+                }
+            } else {
+                .@var$ = sprintf(".D_%s$", .@sub$);
+            }
+
+            .@rep$ = relative_array_random(getd(.@var$));
+
+            if (.@capitalize) .@rep$ = capitalize(.@rep$);
+            else if (.@titlecase) .@rep$ = titlecase(.@rep$);
+            else if (.@allcaps) .@rep$ = strtoupper(.@rep$);
+
+            .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, $@regexmatch$[0], .@rep$); // remove the mustache, replace by value
+        }
+
+        // search for emotes
+        if (.@str$ ~= "%%([^ ])")
+        {
+            // only handling a few of them
+            switch (ord($@regexmatch$[1]))
+            {
+            case 73: face(any(E_WINK, E_ANGEL)); break;
+            case 83: face(any(E_SAD, E_CRYING)); break;
+            case 85: face(E_SURPRISE); break;
+            case 93: face(any(E_HEARTEYE, E_HEART)); break;
+            case 94: face(E_DISGUST); break;
+            case 99: face(E_DEAD); break;
+            case 105: face(E_CRYING); break;
+            case 106:
+            case 91: face(any(E_SPEECH, E_BLAH)); break;
+            case 107: face(E_INSULTBUBBLE); break;
+            default: .@unhandled = true;
+            }
+
+            if (.@unhandled != true)
+            {
+                if (.@str$ == $@regexmatch$[0]) end; // don't send handled, emote-only messages
+                .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, " "+ $@regexmatch$[0], ""); // otherwise strip the emote
+            }
+        }
+
+        // built-in variables
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "~n", .name$); // npc name
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "~p", special_name()); // player name or special name
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "~P", strcharinfo(PC_NAME)); // unaltered player name
+
+        return rp(.@str$);
+    }
+
+    function strip_colors {
+        .@str$ = replacestr(getarg(0, ""), "##0", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##1", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##2", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##3", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##4", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##5", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##6", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##7", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##8", "");
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##9", "");
+        return replacestr(.@str$, "##a", "");
+    }
+
+    function strip_formatting {
+        .@str$ = strip_colors(getarg(0, ""));
+        .@str$ = replacestr(.@str$, "##B", "");
+        return replacestr(.@str$, "##b", "");
+    }
+
+    function delayed_reply {
+        ++.answered_times;
+        @tree_reply$ = getarg(0, "");
+        addtimer(.delay_reply, .name$ + "::OnDoReply");
+        return;
+    }
+
+    function reply {
+        .@reply$ = format_reply(getarg(0, ""));
+        getmapxy(.@pc_map$, .@pc_x, .@pc_y, UNITTYPE_PC); // get char location
+
+        if (((.@reply$ == .last_reply$ && gettimetick(2) - .last_reply < .repeat_rate)
+            || gettimetick(2) - .last_reply < .talk_rate
+            || (gettimetick(2) - .blocked < .block_time && is_trusted() == false)
+            || .@pc_map$ != .map$
+            || distance(.x, .y, .@pc_x, .@pc_y) > .distance
+            || .@reply$ == "")
+            && is_dev() == false)
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            return;
+        }
+
+        .last_reply = gettimetick(2);
+        .last_reply$= .@reply$;
+
+        delayed_reply(.@reply$);
+        return;
+    }
+
+    function seen_me {
+        if (playerattached() > 0 && htexists(.seen_ht))
+        {
+            htput(.seen_ht, strcharinfo(PC_NAME), gettimetick(2));
+        }
+        return;
+    }
+
+    function have_you_seen {
+        .@player$ = getarg(0, "");
+        .@player = getcharid(CHAR_ID_ACCOUNT, .@player$);
+
+        if (.@player > 0)
+        {
+            // nested if, because they don't short-circuit
+            if (checkoption(Option_Invisible, .@player) == false) {
+                delayed_reply(sprintf("Player `%s` is currently online.", .@player$));
+                end;
+            }
+        }
+
+        .@time = htget(.seen_ht, .@player$, 0);
+
+        if (.@time < 1)
+            delayed_reply(sprintf("I haven't seen player `%s` today.", .@player$));
+
+        else
+            delayed_reply(sprintf("Player `%s` was last seen %s.", .@player$, FuzzyTime(.@time, 0, 99)));
+
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function special_drops {
+        .@drop$ = relative_array_random(.drops$);
+        .@name$ = strcharinfo(PC_NAME);
+        .@low$ = strtolower(.@name$);
+
+        if (rand(.sdrop_rate) == 0)
+        {
+            for (.@i = 0; .@i < .sdrops; .@i += 2)
+            {
+                if (.@low$ ~= .sdrops$[.@i])
+                {
+                    explode(.@d$, .sdrops$[.@i+1], "`");
+                    .@drop$ = .@d$[rand(getarraysize(.@d$))];
+                    break;
+                }
+            }
+        }
+
+        return .@drop$;
+    }
+
+    function roll_dice {
+        .@dices = max(min(getarg(0, 1), 8), 1); // 1..8
+        .@sides = max((getarg(1, 6) < 1 ? 6 : getarg(1, 6)), 1); // 1..MAX_INT
+
+        .@result$ = sprintf("*rolls the dice%s: %d",
+                    rif(.@dices > 1, "s"), rand(1, .@sides)); // first dice
+
+        for (.@d = 1; .@d < .@dices; ++.@d)
+        {
+            .@result$ += ", " + rand(1, .@sides);
+        }
+
+        return .@result$ + ".*";
+    }
+
+    function flip_coin {
+        .@coins = getarg(0, 1);
+
+        .@result$ = sprintf("*flips the coin%s: %s",
+                    rif(.@coins > 1, "s"), (rand(2) == 1 ? "heads" : "tails")); // first coin
+
+        for (.@c = 1; .@c < .@coins; ++.@c)
+        {
+            .@result$ += ", " + (rand(2) == 1 ? "heads" : "tails");
+        }
+
+        return .@result$ + ".*";
+    }
+
+    function roulette {
+        if (.roulette == 1)
+        {
+            npctalk("*pulls the trigger: *##BBANG##b*.*");
+            delayed_reply("*reloads and spins the chambers.*");
+            .roulette = rand(1, 7); // the Nagant_M1895 has 7 chambers
+
+            // now the fun part
+            nude();
+            percentheal(-100, 0);
+        }
+
+        else
+        {
+            delayed_reply("*pulls the trigger: *click*.*");
+            .roulette = (.roulette == 7 ? 1 : .roulette + 1);
+        }
+
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function monologue_player {
+        return sprintf("Your current monologue is at least %d line%s long.",
+                @monologue, rif(@monologue != 1, "s"));
+    }
+
+    function who_player {
+        return sprintf("You seem to be ##B~P##b [%i:%i].",
+                getcharid(CHAR_ID_ACCOUNT), getcharid(CHAR_ID_CHAR));
+    }
+
+    function make_quote_table {
+        // Do not modify this
+        query_sql("CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS `tree_quotes` ("
+                 "  `id` INT(11) UNSIGNED NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,"
+                 "  `char_id` INT(11) UNSIGNED NOT NULL DEFAULT '0',"
+                 "  `grabber` INT(11) UNSIGNED NOT NULL DEFAULT '0',"
+                 "  `timestamp` INT(10) UNSIGNED NOT NULL DEFAULT '0',"
+                 "  `message` VARCHAR(150) NOT NULL DEFAULT '',"
+                 "  PRIMARY KEY (`id`),"
+                 "  KEY `char_id` (`char_id`),"
+                 "  KEY `grabber` (`grabber`)"
+                 ") ENGINE=MyISAM;");
+
+        .last_query = gettimetick(2);
+        return;
+    }
+
+    function grab_quote {
+        .@name$ = getarg(0, "");
+
+        if (gettimetick(2) - .last_query < (is_trusted() ? .qpoll_rate : .qpoll_rate2))
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            end;
+        }
+
+        if (.@name$ == strcharinfo(PC_NAME))
+        {
+            delayed_reply("##BError: You may not grab yourself.");
+            end;
+        }
+
+        explode(.@tmp$[0], htget(.msg_ht, .@name$, ""), ":"); // get last message, if any
+        htput(.msg_ht, .@name$, ""); // ensure you can't grab twice the same message
+
+        .@char_id = atoi(.@tmp$[0]); // grab the char id part
+
+        if (.@char_id < 1)
+        {
+            delayed_reply(sprintf("##BError: I couldn't find anything to grab from player `%s`.", .@name$));
+            end;
+        }
+
+        .@msg$ = implode(.@tmp$, ":"); // put it back together
+        .@start = getstrlen(.@tmp$[0]) + getstrlen(.@tmp$[1]) + 2; // char:time:msg <= we just want the msg part
+        .@msg$ = escape_sql(strip_formatting(substr(.@msg$, .@start, getstrlen(.@msg$) - 1))); // sanitize
+
+        if (.@msg$ == "")
+        {
+            delayed_reply("##BError: Message is empty or malformed. It cannot be grabbed.");
+            end;
+        }
+
+        else if (.@msg$ ~= "^[!#~@]?(?:grab)?shield(?:ed)?(?:[:.!]? .*)?$")
+        {
+            delayed_reply("##BError: Message is shielded.");
+            end;
+        }
+
+        query_sql(sprintf("INSERT INTO tree_quotes (char_id,grabber,timestamp,message) VALUES (%i,%i,%i,'%s');",
+                          .@char_id, getcharid(CHAR_ID_CHAR), gettimetick(2), .@msg$));
+
+        query_sql("SELECT MAX(id) FROM tree_quotes;", .q_last_id); // get the last quote id
+
+        .last_query = gettimetick(2);
+
+        delayed_reply(sprintf("Success: Quote grabbed. (#%i)", .q_last_id));
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function remove_quote {
+        .@tmp = getarg(0, 0);
+
+        if (gettimetick(2) - .last_query < (is_trusted() ? .qpoll_rate : .qpoll_rate2))
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            end;
+        }
+
+        query_sql(sprintf("SELECT id FROM tree_quotes WHERE id = %i ORDER BY id DESC LIMIT 1;", .@tmp), .@id); // check if it exists
+
+        if (.@id < 1)
+        {
+            delayed_reply(sprintf("##BError: I couldn't find quote #%i in the database.", .@tmp));
+            end;
+        }
+
+        query_sql(sprintf("DELETE FROM tree_quotes WHERE id = %i ORDER BY id DESC LIMIT 1;", .@id));
+
+        .last_query = gettimetick(2);
+
+        delayed_reply(sprintf("Success: Quote removed. (#%i)", .@id));
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function cite_quote {
+        .@id = getarg(0,0);
+
+        if (gettimetick(2) - .last_query < (is_trusted() ? .qpoll_rate : .qpoll_rate2))
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            end;
+        }
+
+        query_sql(sprintf("SELECT t.id, c.name AS grabee, d.name AS grabber, t.timestamp, t.message "
+                          "FROM `tree_quotes` t "
+                          "JOIN `char` c ON t.char_id = c.char_id "
+                          "JOIN `char` d ON t.grabber = d.char_id "
+                          "WHERE t.id=%i ORDER BY t.id DESC LIMIT 1;",
+                          .@id),
+                  .@nid[0], .@grabee$[0], .@grabber$[0], .@time[0], .@msg$[0]);
+
+        .last_query = gettimetick(2);
+
+        if (.@nid[0] < 1)
+        {
+            delayed_reply(sprintf("##BError: I couldn't find quote #%i in the database.", .@id));
+            end;
+        }
+
+        delayed_reply(sprintf("<%s> ##B%s##b ##a— grabbed by %s %s.",
+                        .@grabee$[0], .@msg$[0], .@grabber$[0], FuzzyTime(.@time[0],0,1)));
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function random_quote {
+        .@name$ = escape_sql(getarg(0, ""));
+
+        if (gettimetick(2) - .last_query < (is_trusted() ? .qpoll_rate : .qpoll_rate2))
+        {
+            ++.ignored_times;
+            end;
+        }
+
+        query_sql("SELECT t.id, c.name AS grabee, d.name AS grabber, t.timestamp, t.message "
+                  "FROM `char` c "
+                  "JOIN `tree_quotes` t ON t.char_id = c.char_id "
+                  "JOIN `char` d ON d.char_id = t.grabber " +
+                  rif(.@name$ != "", sprintf("WHERE c.name='%s' ", .@name$)) +
+                  "ORDER BY RAND() LIMIT 1;",
+                  .@nid[0], .@grabee$[0], .@grabber$[0], .@time[0], .@msg$[0]);
+
+        .last_query = gettimetick(2);
+
+        if (.@nid[0] < 1)
+        {
+            if (.@name$ != "")
+                delayed_reply(sprintf("##BError: I couldn't find any quote from `%s` in the database.", getarg(0, "")));
+            else
+                delayed_reply("##BError: The quote database is empty.");
+            end;
+        }
+
+        delayed_reply(sprintf("<%s> ##B%s##b ##a— grabbed by %s %s. (#%i)",
+                        .@grabee$[0], .@msg$[0], .@grabber$[0], FuzzyTime(.@time[0],0,1), .@nid[0]));
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function trigger_hotword {
+        .@o$ = getarg(0, ""); // original lowercase
+        .@m$ = replacestr(.@o$, "*", ""); // original lowercase clean
+
+
+        if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )tell(?: (?:me|him|her|us|them))? a(?:n ?other| lame| bad| boring)? joke")
+            reply(relative_array_random(.jokes$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )heal me(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(relative_array_random(.healing$));
+            // XXX: maybe actually heal the player once in a while
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:what|who) are you")
+            reply(relative_array_random(.whoami$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= rp("(?:^| )(?:hi+|hello|heya?|hiya|good (?:morning|afternoon))[^a-z]* .*~t|~t.* (?:hi+|hello|heya?|hiya)"))
+        {
+            .blocked = 0;
+            .@rpl$ = relative_array_random(.greetings$);
+            reply(.@rpl$);
+        }
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )(?:kicks?|shakes?) .*~t"))
+            reply(special_drops());
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )(?:cuts?|nukes?|kills?|chops? down|saws?|hews?|murders?) .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.kill$));
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )pokes? .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.poke$));
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )(?:waters?|pees?|licks?) .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.disgusting$));
+
+        else if (compare(.@m$, " answer ") && .@m$ ~= "(?:life|universe|everything)(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(relative_array_random(.answer$));
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )(?:burns?|incinerates?|ignites?) .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.burning$));
+            // XXX: maybe here send a fire particle effect
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= rp("(?:^| )die ~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.die$));
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )bites? .*~t|(?:^[*]| )drops? .* on ~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.silly$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= rp("(?:^| )(?:loves?|hugs?|kiss(es)?) .*~t|~t.* love(?:$|[^a-z])"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.love$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= rp("(?:^| )dance .*~t|~t.* dance(?:$|[^a-z])"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.dance$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= rp("(?:^| )hates? .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.hate$));
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )(?:eats?|shoots?|plucks?|tortures?|slaps?|slaps?|poisons?|breaks?|stabs?|throws?|punch(?:es)?) .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.pain$));
+
+        else if (.@o$ ~= rp("(?:^[*]| )(?:climbs?|rides?|mounts?) .*~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.climb$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:see y(?:a|ou)|good night|(?:bye)?bye+)(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(relative_array_random(.bye$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= rp("(?:^| )bad ~t"))
+            reply(relative_array_random(.bad$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:how old are you|uptime)(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply("%%B Server uptime: " + FuzzyTime(.uptime, 1, 99) + ".");
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )how chatty are you(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply("%%B Answered " + .answered_times + " times, ignored " + .ignored_times + " times.");
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )what.* version(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply("%%B ~n, version " + .version + "."); // XXX: maybe return Hercules version and serverdata commit instead
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:(?:8|eight)[ -]?ball|(?:should|would|will|do|does) (?:i|you|he|she|it|we|they))(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(relative_array_random(.eightball$));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )roll(?: a| the)? dice(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(roll_dice(1, 6));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )roll(?: a)? ([1-8])d((?:[1-9][0-9]{0,10})?)(?:$|[^0-9a-z])")
+            reply(roll_dice(atoi($@regexmatch$[1]), atoi($@regexmatch$[2])));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )roll ([1-8]) dices?(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(roll_dice(atoi($@regexmatch$[1]), 6));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:flip|toss)(?: a| the)? coin(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(flip_coin(1));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:flip|toss) ([1-8]) coins?(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(flip_coin(atoi($@regexmatch$[1])));
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:press|pull)(?: the)? trigger(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            roulette();
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )(?:how long|what) is(?: my)? monologue(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(monologue_player());
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )who am i(?:$|[^a-z])")
+            reply(who_player());
+
+        else if (.@m$ ~= "(?:^| )shut up(?:$|[^a-z])")
+        {
+            reply(relative_array_random(.shut_up$));
+            .blocked = gettimetick(2);
+        }
+
+        else if (rand(.dunno_rate) == 0)
+            reply(relative_array_random(.no_idea$));
+
+        else
+            ++.ignored_times;
+
+        end;
+    }
+
+    function trigger_hiall {
+        if (rand(.hiall_rate) == 0)
+            reply(relative_array_random(.greetings$));
+
+        else
+            ++.ignored_times;
+
+        end;
+    }
+
+OnClick:
+    //if ($@xmas_time)
+    //    goto L_XmasTree;
+    if ($@halloween_time)
+        callfunc "HalloweenTree";
+    tree_panel();
+    end;
+
+
+OnTalkNearby:
+    .@no_nick$ = strip(strip_formatting(substr($@p0$, getstrlen(strcharinfo(PC_NAME)) + 3, getstrlen($@p0$) - 1))); // not very obvious stuff
+    .@no_nick_lower$ = strtolower(.@no_nick$); // FIXME: hercules doesn't have a way to do case insensitive regex yet
+    .@no_nick_clean$ = replacestr(.@no_nick_lower$, "*", "");
+
+    htput(.msg_ht, strcharinfo(PC_NAME), getcharid(CHAR_ID_CHAR) + ":" + gettimetick(2) + ":" + .@no_nick$); // log last message, for quotegrabs
+    .lastsender = getcharid(CHAR_ID_CHAR); // for monologue
+
+    .last_activity = gettimetick(2); // for the auto-janitor
+
+    if ((is_trusted() || #Tree_Trusted) && charat(.@no_nick$, 0) == .symbol$)
+    {
+        if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.grab \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+            reply(grab_quote($@regexmatch$[1]));
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:ungrab|remove|delete)(?: quote)? #([0-9]+)$")
+            reply(remove_quote(atoi($@regexmatch$[1])));
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:ungrab|remove|delete)(?: last(?: quote)?)?$")
+            reply(remove_quote(.q_last_id));
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:quote|cite) #([0-9]+)$")
+            reply(cite_quote(atoi($@regexmatch$[1])));
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:(?:random )?quote|cite)(?: anyone| someone| random)?$")
+            reply(random_quote());
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:quote|cite) \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+            reply(random_quote($@regexmatch$[1]));
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.seen \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+            reply(have_you_seen($@regexmatch$[1]));
+
+        // to allow trusted testers to reboot without knowing the exit code
+        else if (debug && .@no_nick$ ~= "^.re(?:boot|load|start)(?:(?: the)? server)?$")
+        {
+            announce("The server is rebooting. This may take a couple minutes.", bc_all);
+            sleep2(1000);
+            atcommand("@serverexit 104");
+        }
+
+        // exit, pull all, clean, build, reboot
+        else if (debug && .@no_nick$ ~= "^.re-?build(?:(?: the)? server)?$")
+        {
+            announce("The server is rebuilding. This will take several minutes.", bc_all);
+            sleep2(1000);
+            atcommand("@serverexit 108");
+        }
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:add )?ignored? \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+        {
+            .@chr = getcharid(CHAR_ID_ACCOUNT, $@regexmatch$[1]);
+            if (.@chr < 1)
+            {
+                reply("##BError: Player not found or not online.");
+                end;
+            }
+            htput(.ignore_ht, strcharinfo(PC_NAME, .@chr), gettimetick(2) + 3600);
+            reply(sprintf("Success: Player `%s` is now ignored for 1 hour.",
+                strcharinfo(PC_NAME, .@chr)));
+        }
+
+        else if (.@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:un|de-?|remove )ignored? \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+        {
+            .@chr = getcharid(CHAR_ID_ACCOUNT, $@regexmatch$[1]);
+            if (.@chr < 1)
+            {
+                reply("##BError: Player not found or not online.");
+                end;
+            }
+            htput(.ignore_ht, strcharinfo(PC_NAME, .@chr), 0);
+            reply(sprintf("Success: Player `%s` is no longer ignored.",
+                strcharinfo(PC_NAME, .@chr)));
+        }
+
+        else if (is_admin() && .@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:add )?trust(?:ed)? \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+        {
+            .@chr = getcharid(CHAR_ID_ACCOUNT, $@regexmatch$[1]);
+            if (.@chr < 1)
+            {
+                reply("##BError: Player not found or not online.");
+                end;
+            }
+            set(getvariableofpc(#Tree_Trusted, .@chr), true);
+            reply(sprintf("Success: Player `%s` can now use restricted commands.",
+                strcharinfo(PC_NAME, .@chr)));
+        }
+
+        else if (is_admin() && .@no_nick$ ~= "^.(?:un|de-?|remove )trust(?:ed)? \"?([^#:@\"]{4,23})\"?$")
+        {
+            .@chr = getcharid(CHAR_ID_ACCOUNT, $@regexmatch$[1]);
+            if (.@chr < 1)
+            {
+                reply("##BError: Player not found or not online.");
+                end;
+            }
+            set(getvariableofpc(#Tree_Trusted, .@chr), false);
+            reply(sprintf("Success: Player `%s` can no longer use restricted commands.",
+                strcharinfo(PC_NAME, .@chr)));
+        }
+
+        else
+            reply("##BError: Command not found or invalid syntax.");
+    }
+
+    else if (.@no_nick_lower$ ~= rp("^(~t[^a-z ]* .*|(?:.* (?:~t[^a-z ]* .*|~t[^ a-z]*)))$"))
+    {
+        check_is_ignored();
+        trigger_hotword($@regexmatch$[1]);
+    }
+
+    else if (.@no_nick_clean$ ~= "^(hi(ya)?|hello|heya?) (all|friends|every(one|body))")
+    {
+        check_is_ignored();
+        trigger_hiall();
+    }
+
+    else
+    {
+        if (.lastsender == getcharid(CHAR_ID_CHAR))
+            @monologue++;
+
+        else
+            @monologue = 1;
+    }
+
+    // TODO: eliza mode, whisper eliza mode
+    end;
+
+OnTouch:
+    if (rand(.touch_rate) == 0) {
+        face();
+    }
+    end;
+
+OnDoReply:
+    if (@tree_reply$ != "") {
+        npctalk(@tree_reply$);
+        @tree_reply$ = "";
+    }
+    end;
+
+OnPCLogoutEvent:
+    seen_me();
+    end;
+
+OnTimer3600000:
+    // scheduled janitor
+    .@now = gettimetick(2);
+    initnpctimer(); // schedule next
+
+    if (.last_activity > (.@now - 3600)) {
+        end; // last activity is too recent
+    }
+
+    // cleanup routine below
+    .lastsender = 0;
+    .last_activity = 0;
+    .last_reply = 0;
+    .last_emote = 0;
+    .last_query = 0;
+    .blocked = 0;
+    .enable_janitor = 0;
+
+    htclear(.msg_ht); // empty the message table (quotegrabs)
+    htclear(.ignore_ht); // empty the ignore table
+
+    .@it = htiterator(.seen_ht); // allocate new iterator
+    for (.@key$ = htinextkey(.@it); hticheck(.@it); .@key$ = htinextkey(.@it)) {
+        if (.@key$ == "") {
+            continue;
+        }
+
+        if (htget(.seen_ht, .@key$, 0) < (.@now - 86400)) {
+            htput(.seen_ht, .@key$, 0); // remove from hash table if older than 24h
+        }
+    }
+    htidelete(.@it); // free the iterator
+
+    face(); // do an emote (because why not)
+    end;
+
+
+OnInit:
+    // config below
+    .hotwords$ = "tree"; // what hot words the npc should listen to, besides its own name (regex)
+    .distance = 14; // the npc will only listen to player within X tiles
+    //.dir = season_direction(); // sprite direction according to the season
+    .talk_rate = 1; // min number of seconds to wait between replies
+    .repeat_rate = 1; // min number of seconds to wait before sending the same message twice in a row
+    .block_time = 600; // how long to stay quiet after someone says shut up, in seconds
+    .emote_rate = 3; // min number of seconds to wait between emotes
+    .sdrop_rate = 8; // 1 in X chances to get a special drop
+    .sname_rate = 8; // 1 in X chances to get a special name
+    .dunno_rate = 2; // 1 in X chances to get a reply when the command is not found
+    .hiall_rate = 2; // 1 in X chances to reply to a "hi everyone"
+    .touch_rate = 4; // 1 in X chances to trigger the OnTouch action
+    .qpoll_rate = 1; // min number of seconds to wait before calling the sql db again for GMs
+    .qpoll_rate2 = 5; // min number of seconds to wait before calling the sql db again for non-GMs (currently unused)
+    .delay_reply = 250; // number of ms to wait to reply
+    .enable_janitor = true; // automatically free memory when idle
+    .symbol$ = "~"; // symbol for GM-only commands
+
+    // register some arrays
+    callfunc("TREE_dictionaries");
+
+    // do random stuff
+    make_quote_table();
+    face();
+
+    // boring stuff below
+    .version[0] = 21; // increase this when you make a change
+    .version[1] = 1;
+    .uptime = gettimetick(2);
+    .alwaysVisible = true; // the NPC doesn't de-spawn when moving away
+    .pid = 1; // regex pattern id
+    .msg_ht = htnew(); // hashtable id for message history
+    .seen_ht = htnew(); // hashtable id for seen log
+    .ignore_ht = htnew(); // hashtable id for ignored players
+    .roulette = rand(1, 7); // spin the chambers
+    defpattern(.pid, "^(.*)$", "OnTalkNearby");
+    activatepset(.pid);
+    if (.enable_janitor) {
+        initnpctimer();
+    }
 }
+
+// Duplicates below
+001-1,57,75,0	duplicate(#ConfusedTree)	#ConfusedPalmTree	NPC384,14,14
+020-1,90,78,0	duplicate(#ConfusedTree)	#ConfusedIcedTree	NPC380,14,14
+
diff --git a/npc/functions/confused-tree-dict.txt b/npc/functions/confused-tree-dict.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e1c0f555
--- /dev/null
+++ b/npc/functions/confused-tree-dict.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,515 @@
+// Evol scripts.
+// Author:
+//    gumi
+//    rein
+// Based on CrazyTree, originally made by:
+//    gumi
+//    pclouds
+//    veryape
+//    wushin
+// Description:
+//    dictionaries for confused tree
+
+// Built-in variables:
+//    ~t       lowercase hot word regex
+//    ~n       npc name
+//    ~p       player name or special name
+//    ~P       player name only
+//
+// Custom variables:
+//    {{var}}  random from array .D_var$
+//    {{^var}} same but capitalize
+//    {{+var}} same but title case
+//    {{!var}} same but all caps
+// You can also specify multiple variables, separated by a comma (,)
+//
+// Example:
+// "*drops a {{! size }} {{ color }} {{^ sizeable object, someone }} on ~p's head*"
+
+function	script	TREE_dictionaries	{
+    .npc$ = strnpcinfo(0);
+
+    // special aliases below (regex of lowercase char names)
+    // the substitutions are an array separated by backticks (`)
+    // XXX: this could become a hashtable at some point if it gets too big
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.alias$[0], .npc$),
+        "^veryape(?:gm)?$",              "hairyape",
+
+        "^wu-?shin$",                    "Dwarven Princess`"
+                                         "She-Ra",
+
+        "^reid$",                        "Mistress`"
+                                         "Milady`"
+                                         "R'eid",
+
+        "^(?:slicer|madcamel)$",         "Camel Toe",
+
+        "^4144(?:4d494e)?$",             "NPC",
+
+        "^omatt$",                       "@@https://youtu.be/S2qiZoqH9OY|omatt@@`"
+                                         "o'matt",
+
+        "^prsm$",                        "Refractor`"
+                                         "Overlord");
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.alias, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.alias$, .npc$)));
+
+
+
+    // special drops below (regex of lowercase char names)
+    // the substitutions are an array of standard replies separated by backticks (`)
+    // and allow {{variables}}
+    // XXX: this could become a hashtable at some point if it gets too big
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.sdrops$[0], .npc$),
+        "^reid$",                        "*drops an empty jar of Nutella on ~p*",
+        "^omatt$",                       "*drops Elisabeth Granneman on ~p*");
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.sdrops, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.sdrops$, .npc$)));
+
+
+    // variables below
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_size$[1], .npc$), // {{size}}
+        "tiny", 1,
+        "small", 1,
+        "perfectly sized", 1,
+        "large", 1,
+        "huge", 1,
+        "humongous", 1,
+        "ginormous", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_size, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_size$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_color$[1], .npc$), // {{color}}
+        "red", 1,
+        "orange", 1,
+        "yellow", 1,
+        "pink", 1,
+        "aqua", 1,
+        "cyan", 1,
+        "blue", 1,
+        "indigo", 1,
+        "violet", 1,
+        "purple", 1,
+        "magenta", 1,
+        "pink", 1,
+        "black", 1,
+        "white", 1,
+        "grey", 1,
+        "greyscale", 1,
+        "brown", 1,
+        "maroon", 1,
+        "turquoise", 1,
+        "lime", 1,
+        "sky blue", 1,
+        "invisible", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_color, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_color$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_violentadverb$[1], .npc$), // {{violent adverb}}
+        "violently", 1,
+        "repeatedly", 1,
+        "casually", 1,
+        "forcefully", 1,
+        "slowly", 1,
+        "carefully", 1,
+        "hopefully", 1,
+        "dangerously", 1,
+        "shockingly", 1,
+        "religiously", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_violentadverb, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_violentadverb$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_hello$[1], .npc$), // {{hello}}
+        "hi", 4,
+        "hey", 3,
+        "yo", 2,
+        "hello", 10,
+        "howdy", 1,
+        "bonjour", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_hello, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_hello$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_violentverb$[1], .npc$), // {{violent verb}}
+        "slaps", 5,
+        "hits", 1,
+        "pummels", 1,
+        "beats", 1,
+        "flattens", 1,
+        "taunts", 1,
+        "liquidates", 1,
+        "spanks", 1,
+        "affronts", 1,
+        "tranquilizes", 1,
+        "atomizes", 1,
+        "impales", 1,
+        "dismembers", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_violentverb, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_violentverb$, .npc$)));
+
+    // FIXME: Is this even used anywhere?
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_location$[1], .npc$), // {{location}}
+        "Artis", 1,
+        "Hurnscald", 1,
+        "Tulimshar", 1,
+        "Nivalis", 1,
+        "Candor", 1,
+        "Drasil", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_location, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_location$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_sizeableobject$[1], .npc$), // {{sizeable object}}
+        "trout", 1,
+        "whale", 1,
+        "space whale", 1,
+        "penguin", 1,
+        "coelacanth", 1,
+        "squid", 1,
+        "shrimp", 1,
+        "crab", 1,
+        "tentacle", 1,
+        "dictionary", 1,
+        "grammar book", 1,
+        "textbook", 1,
+        "dinosaur", 1,
+        "t-rex", 1,
+        "star-nosed mole", 1,
+        "chimpanzee", 1,
+        "mermaid", 1,
+        "merman", 1,
+        "piano", 1,
+        "prince", 1,
+        "princess", 1,
+        "pinkie", 1,
+        "squirrel", 1,
+        "mouboo", 1,
+        "wet mop", 1,
+        "drunken pirate", 1,
+        "cake", 1,
+        "cookie", 1,
+        "chocobo", 1,
+        "restraining order", 1,
+        "freight train", 1,
+        "carnival hammer", 1,
+        "crate", 1,
+        "bomb", 1,
+        "bowl of petinuas", 1,
+        "box", 1,
+        "platypus", 1,
+        "magic eightball", 1,
+        "vase", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_sizeableobject, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_sizeableobject$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_nsizeableobject$[1], .npc$), // {{n sizeable object}}
+        "octopus", 1,
+        "elephant", 1,
+        "angry cat", 1,
+        "anvil", 1,
+        "encyclopedia set", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_nsizeableobject, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_nsizeableobject$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.D_someone$[1], .npc$), // {{someone}}
+        "Voldemort", 1,
+        "Cthulhu", 1,
+        "Platyna", 1,
+        "Hitler", 1,
+        "Luvia", 1,
+        "General Krukan", 1,
+        "Borg Queen", 1,
+        "Freeyorp", 1,
+        "MadCamel", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.D_someone, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.D_someone$, .npc$)));
+
+    // replies below
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.greetings$[1], .npc$),
+        "{{^ hello }} ~p!", 4,
+        "{{^ hello }} ~p.", 6,
+        "{{^ hello }} ~p, what's up?", 1,
+        "{{^ hello }} ~p, anything new?", 1,
+        "{{^ hello }} ~p, how are you?", 1,
+        "~p!!!!", 1,
+        "~p!!!", 1,
+        "~p!!", 1,
+        "{{^ hello }} ~p! You are looking lovely today!", 1,
+        "Welcome back, ~p.", 3,
+        "~p is back!!", 1,
+        "Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.", 1,
+        "Greetings ~p.", 1,
+        "What's up ~p?", 2,
+        "How are you ~p?", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.greetings, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.greetings$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.jokes$[1], .npc$),
+        "How did the tree get drunk? On root beer.", 1,
+        "Do you think I'm lazy?", 1,
+        "I miss CrazyTree %%S.", 1,
+        "I miss LazyTree %%S.", 1,
+        "I'm not telling you!", 1,
+        "*sighs.*", 1,
+        "If I do it for you, then I have to do it for everybody.", 1,
+        "What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you.", 1,
+        "What did the little tree say to the big tree? Leaf me alone.", 1,
+        "What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.", 1,
+        "What do trees give to their dogs? Treets.", 1,
+        "What do you call a tree that only eats meat? Carniforous.", 1,
+        "What do you call a tree who's always envious? Evergreen.", 1,
+        "What is the tree's least favourite month? Sep-timber!", 1,
+        "What kind of tree can fit into your hand? A palm-tree.", 1,
+        "What was the tree's favorite subject in school? Chemistree.", 1,
+        "Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green.", 1,
+        "Why doesn't the tree need sudo? Because it has root.", 1,
+        "Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark.", 1,
+        "Why was the tree executed? For treeson.", 1,
+        "How do trees get on the internet? They log in.", 1,
+        "Why did the pine tree get into trouble? Because it was being knotty.", 1,
+        "Did you hear the one about the oak tree? It's a corn-y one!", 1,
+        "What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase? Branch Manager.", 1,
+        "How is an apple like a lawyer? They both look good hanging from a tree.", 1,
+        "Why did the sheriff arrest the tree? Because its leaves rustled.", 1,
+        "I'm too tired, ask someone else.", 1,
+        "If you are trying to get me to tell jokes you are barking up the wrong tree!", 1,
+        "You wooden think they were funny anyhow. Leaf me alone!", 1,
+        "What is brown and sticky? A stick.", 1,
+        "What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle.", 1,
+        "What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch.", 1,
+        "Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn? In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.", 1,
+        "A snare drum and a crash cymbal fell out of a tree. *BA-DUM TSSSHH*", 1,
+        "How do you properly identify a dogwood tree? By the bark!", 1,
+        "Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.", 1,
+        "Why do trees make great thieves? Sticky fingers.", 1,
+        "What is green, has leaves, and a trunk? A houseplant going on vacation.", 1,
+        "Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim? To the baobarber.", 1,
+        "What looks like half a spruce tree? The other half.", 1,
+        "What do you give to a sick citrus tree? Lemon aid.", 1,
+        "What did the tree say to the drill? You bore me.", 1,
+        "What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? It wooden go.", 1,
+        "How do trees keep you in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.", 1,
+        "Where do birch trees keep their valuables? In a river bank.", 1,
+        "What kind of stories do giant sequoia trees tell? Tall tales.", 1,
+        "What is the most frustrating thing about being a tree? Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.", 1,
+        "What's black, highly dangerous, and lives in a tree? A crow with a machine gun.", 1,
+        "What kind of wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood.", 1,
+        "Two men passed a sign while looking for work. It was for tree fellers. They said: “what a shame, there are only two of us”.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.jokes, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.jokes$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.healing$[1], .npc$),
+        "Eat an apple, they're good for you.", 1,
+        "If I do it for you, then I have to do it for everybody.", 1,
+        "Oh, go drink a potion or something.", 1,
+        "Whoops! I lost my spellbook.", 1,
+        "No mana.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.healing, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.healing$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.whoami$[1], .npc$),
+        "An undercover GM.", 1,
+        "An exiled GM.", 1,
+        "I'm not telling you!", 1,
+        "I'm a bot! I'll be level 99 one day! Mwahahahaaha!!!111!", 1,
+        "Somebody said I'm a Chinese copy of CrazyTree.", 1,
+        "I am your evil twin.", 1,
+        "I don't remember anything after I woke up! What happened to me?", 1,
+        "I don't know. Why am I here??", 1,
+        "Who are you?", 1,
+        "On the 8th day, God was bored and said 'There will be bots'. So here I am.", 1,
+        "♪ I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between ♪♪", 1,
+        "♪♪ Aperture Science. We do what we must, because... we can ♪", 1,
+        "I'm just a reincarnation of a copy.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.whoami, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.whoami$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.drops$[1], .npc$),
+        "*drops a {{ sizeable object }} on ~p's head.*", 8,
+        "*drops an {{ n sizeable object }} on ~p's head.*", 2,
+        "*drops {{ someone }} on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a coin on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a fruit on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops an apple on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops an iten on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a GM on ~p.*", 1,
+        "*drops a piece of moon rock on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a pin on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a rock on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a tub of paint on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a sandworm on ~p.*", 1,
+        "*drops an idea in ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "Ouch.", 1,
+        "Ouchy.", 1,
+        "*drops dead.*", 1,
+        "*sighs.*", 1,
+        "Leaf me alone.", 1,
+        "Stop it! I don't drop branches, try the Druid tree for once!", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.drops, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.drops$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.die$[1], .npc$),
+        "*drops an iten on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a piece of moon rock on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops {{ someone }} on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a {{ sizeable object }} on ~p's head.*", 3,
+        "*drops an {{ n sizeable object }} on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a {{ size }} {{ sizeable object, n sizeable object }} on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*drops a {{ size }} {{ color }} {{ sizeable object, n sizeable object }} on ~p's head.*", 1,
+        "*{{ violent adverb }} {{ violent verb }} ~p.*", 1,
+        "*drops dead.*", 1,
+        "*sighs.*", 1,
+        "Avada Kedavra!", 1,
+        "Make me!", 1,
+        "Never!!", 1,
+        "You die, ~p!", 4,
+        "No!", 1,
+        "In a minute.", 1,
+        "Suuure... I'll get right on it...", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.die, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.die$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.poke$[1], .npc$),
+        "*tickles.*", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.poke, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.poke$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.disgusting$[1], .npc$),
+        "Ewwwww %%^.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.disgusting, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.disgusting$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.answer$[1], .npc$),
+        "42.", 1,
+        "Kittens.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.answer, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.answer$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.burning$[1], .npc$),
+        "*curses ~p and dies %%c.*", 1,
+        "Help! I'm on fire!", 1,
+        "Oh hot.. hot hot!", 1,
+        "*is glowing.*", 1,
+        "*is flaming.*", 1,
+        "Ehemm. Where are firefighters? I need them now!", 1,
+        "*is so hot!.*", 1,
+        "*slowly catches fire.*", 1,
+        "*trembles with trepidation.*", 1,
+        "*is immune to fire.*", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.burning, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.burning$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.kill$[1], .npc$),
+        "*curses ~p and dies %%c.*", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.kill, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.kill$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.silly$[1], .npc$),
+        "Hahaha, good one!", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.silly, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.silly$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.love$[1], .npc$),
+        "♪♪ and IIII.. will alwayyyys loooovvve youuuuu. ♪♪ %%]", 1,
+        "♪♪ nothing's gonna change my love for you, you oughta know by now how much I love you.. ♪ %%]", 1,
+        "♪ ..and then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid like: “I love you.” ♪", 1,
+        "♪ ..won't you find a place for me? somewhere in your heart... ♪♪", 1,
+        "Thank you.", 1,
+        "♪♪ ..I can't love another when my heart is somewhere far away.. ♪", 1,
+        "%%]", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.love, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.love$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.dance$[1], .npc$),
+        "I would but I am rooted to the ground.", 1,
+        "Have you ever seen a tree dance before?", 1,
+        "Hahaha, good one!", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.dance, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.dance$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.hate$[1], .npc$),
+        "Right back at you!", 1,
+        "Ok...", 1,
+        "*pats ~p, let it go...*", 1,
+        "Hu hu hu, ~p hates me.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.hate, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.hate$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.bye$[1], .npc$),
+        "*waves goodbye to ~p in tears, come back soon!*", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.bye, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.bye$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.pain$[1], .npc$),
+        "Ouch.", 1,
+        "Ouchy.", 1,
+        "Argh.", 1,
+        "Eek.", 1,
+        "*howls.*", 1,
+        "*screams.*", 1,
+        "*groans.*", 1,
+        "*cries.*", 1,
+        "*faints.*", 1,
+        "*shrieks.*", 1,
+        "*hides behind itself.*", 1,
+        "%%k", 1,
+        "Why, what did I do to you? %%i", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.pain, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.pain$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.eightball$[1], .npc$),
+        "It is possible.", 1,
+        "Yes!", 1,
+        "Of course.", 1,
+        "Naturally.", 1,
+        "Obviously.", 1,
+        "It shall be.", 1,
+        "The outlook is good.", 1,
+        "It is so.", 1,
+        "One would be wise to think so.", 1,
+        "The answer is certainly yes.", 1,
+        "In your dreams.", 1,
+        "I doubt it very much.", 1,
+        "No chance.", 1,
+        "The outlook is very poor.", 1,
+        "Unlikely.", 1,
+        "About as likely as pigs flying.", 1,
+        "You're kidding, right?", 1,
+        "NO!", 1,
+        "NO.", 1,
+        "No.", 1,
+        "Maybe...", 1,
+        "No clue.", 1,
+        "I don't know.", 1,
+        "The outlook is hazy, please ask again later.", 1,
+        "What are you asking me for?", 1,
+        "Come again?", 1,
+        "You know the answer better than I.", 1,
+        "The answer is def-- oooh! shiny thing!", 1,
+        "No idea.", 1,
+        "Perhaps.", 1,
+        "I think it is better not to tell you.", 1,
+        "Error 417: Expectation failed.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.eightball, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.eightball$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.bad$[1], .npc$),
+        "I'm not bad! You are bad!", 1,
+        "OK, I'm bad.", 1,
+        "I'm just a littttle bad.", 1,
+        "Not as bad as the people that made me.", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.bad, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.bad$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.no_idea$[1], .npc$),
+        "What?", 2,
+        "What??", 1,
+        "Whatever.", 1,
+        "Hmm...", 2,
+        "Huh?", 1,
+        "*yawns.*", 1,
+        "Wait a minute...", 1,
+        "What are you talking about?", 1,
+        "Who are you?", 1,
+        "What about me?", 1,
+        "I don't know what you are talking about", 1,
+        "Excuse me?", 1,
+        "Very interesting.", 1,
+        "Really?", 1,
+        "Go on...", 1,
+        "*scratches its leafy head.*", 1,
+        "*feels a disturbance in the force.*", 1,
+        "%%j", 1,
+        "*senses a disturbance in the force.*", 1,
+        "I'm bored...", 1,
+        "%%U", 1,
+        "%%[", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.no_idea, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.no_idea$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.shut_up$[1], .npc$),
+        "*goes hide in a corner %%S.*", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.shut_up, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.shut_up$, .npc$)));
+
+    setarray(getvariableofnpc(.climb$[1], .npc$),
+        "*sways violently.*", 1,
+        "*bends all the way to the ground.*", 1,
+        "*creaks and bends.*", 1,
+        "*welcomes those who come to play %%I.*", 1,
+        "*beams with pride.*", 1);
+    set(getvariableofnpc(.climb, .npc$), getarraysize(getvariableofnpc(.climb$, .npc$)));
+
+    return;
+}
diff --git a/npc/scripts.conf b/npc/scripts.conf
index 6ad4e69b..cddf86da 100644
--- a/npc/scripts.conf
+++ b/npc/scripts.conf
@@ -107,6 +107,7 @@
 
 // Events
 "npc/functions/gm_island.txt",
+"npc/functions/confused-tree-dict.txt",
 "npc/annuals/fathertime.txt",
 "npc/annuals/check_time.txt",
 "npc/annuals/tree_beard.txt",