From 5df19e3c04e55acad16f28c38ba29055c58d3b85 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Dino Paskvan Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 16:05:44 +0200 Subject: Orum and Waric quest proofreading and editing All the NPCs involved in the quest have been edited, with help from Dyna. --- world/map/npc/012-1/flowerpentagram2.txt | 22 +++++++++++----------- world/map/npc/012-1/shops.txt | 14 +++++++------- 2 files changed, 18 insertions(+), 18 deletions(-) (limited to 'world/map/npc/012-1') diff --git a/world/map/npc/012-1/flowerpentagram2.txt b/world/map/npc/012-1/flowerpentagram2.txt index 440d2571..d719ad00 100644 --- a/world/map/npc/012-1/flowerpentagram2.txt +++ b/world/map/npc/012-1/flowerpentagram2.txt @@ -7,11 +7,11 @@ if (OrumQuest > 20) goto L_PlacedSecondFlower; if (OrumQuest == 20) goto L_SecondFlower; - message strcharinfo(0), "Something is odd with this place."; + message strcharinfo(0), "There is something odd about this place."; end; L_SecondFlower: - mes "Orum described this place. Here you have to place the second magical flower."; + mes "Orum described this place. You have to place the second magical flower here."; menu "Place the flower.", -, "Leave.", L_Close; @@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ L_SecondFlower: if (isin("012-1.gat", 142, 69, 144, 71)) goto L_Place; - mes "This doesn't work, you're too far away."; + mes "This isn't working, you're too far away."; goto L_Close; L_Place: @@ -35,8 +35,8 @@ L_Place: if (countitem("PurpleSummonFlower") < 1) goto L_NoFlower; delitem "PurpleSummonFlower", 1; - mes "Remembering what happened last time, you take a careful look around. Everything's calm. You proceed and place the second flower."; - mes "Tension builds up around you. You're alarmed."; + mes "Remembering what happened the last time, you take a careful look around. Everything's calm. You proceed to place the second flower."; + mes "Sensing a certain tension build up around you, you can't help but feel alarmed."; set OrumQuest, 21; close2; areamonster "012-1.gat", 140, 64, 146, 73, "", 1105, 2, "#FlowerPentagram2::OnSquirrelDeath"; @@ -70,24 +70,24 @@ OnRScorpionDeath: L_MonstersAlive: mes "As you get closer to the place, you feel an unnerving presence."; - mes "The place has recently been used to summon something! And the beings are still near!"; + mes "This place has recently been used to summon something! And the beings are still nearby!"; next; mes "You should get rid of them before attempting the summoning yourself."; goto L_Close; L_NoFlower: mes "You look into your pocket, but the flower isn't there. Where did you put it?"; - mes "If you can't find it again, better talk to Orum."; + mes "If you can't find it, you should talk to Orum again."; goto L_Close; L_PlacedSecondFlower: - mes "On this spot you placed the second of Orum's magical flowers."; - mes "There's a slight glowing of magic power around the place, waiting to be unleashed."; + mes "You placed the second of Orum's magical flowers on this spot."; + mes "You can still feel the magical power shimmering around this place, waiting to be unleashed."; goto L_Close; L_PlacedFifthFlower: - mes "This is the place where you put the second of Orum's magical flowers."; - mes "But after the pentagram was finished and the summoning happened, everything is back to normal with this spot."; + mes "This is where you placed the second of Orum's magical flowers."; + mes "However, now that the summoning spell has been cast, everything is back to normal here."; goto L_Close; L_Close: diff --git a/world/map/npc/012-1/shops.txt b/world/map/npc/012-1/shops.txt index b15b2c3d..ac627e1f 100644 --- a/world/map/npc/012-1/shops.txt +++ b/world/map/npc/012-1/shops.txt @@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ menu "Sure.", L_Shop, "Not right now.", L_Close, - "Can I trade this Rose Hat against a different one?", L_RoseHat; + "Can I trade this Rose Hat for a differently colored one?", L_RoseHat; L_Shop: shop "#FlowerShop"; @@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ L_RoseHat: "A white one.", -, "A pink one.", -, "A yellow one.", -, - "A orange one.", -, + "An orange one.", -, "A blue one.", -; set @have_id, @base_id + @menu - 1; @@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ L_RoseHat: "A white one.", -, "A pink one.", -, "A yellow one.", -, - "A orange one.", -, + "An orange one.", -, "A blue one.", -; set @receive_id, @base_id + @menu - 1; @@ -51,17 +51,17 @@ L_RoseHat: L_NoItem: mes "[Blossom]"; mes "\"Oh, you don't have a Rose Hat in that color."; - mes "Did you mean something else?\""; + mes "Did you mean a different color?\""; menu "Yes, I meant a different color.", L_RoseHat, "No, I changed my mind.", L_Close; L_SameColor: mes "[Blossom]"; - mes "\"Oh, but it doesn't make sense to trade agains the same color."; - mes "Did you mean something else?\""; + mes "\"Oh, you already have a hat in that color."; + mes "Did you want something else?\""; menu - "Yes, let me correct.", L_RoseHat, + "Yes, let me pick a different color.", L_RoseHat, "No, I changed my mind.", L_Close; L_Close: -- cgit v1.2.3-60-g2f50