From a1cfd4e6afff78f777872f49f8e8faacbe6f2e60 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Unverified Date: Sun, 6 Mar 2016 14:11:08 -0500 Subject: Fixed a lot of grammar mistakes and reworded some dialogue for clarity. --- npc/000-1/ale.txt | 2 +- npc/000-1/couwan.txt | 2 +- npc/001-2-19/lloyd.txt | 32 ++++++++++++++++---------------- npc/001-2-2/moon.txt | 4 ++-- npc/001-2-21/julia.txt | 4 ++-- npc/001-2-22/alige.txt | 14 +++++++------- npc/001-2-22/note.txt | 6 +++--- npc/001-2-22/peter.txt | 2 +- npc/001-2-24/nard.txt | 4 ++-- npc/001-2-26/ivan.txt | 7 ++++--- npc/001-2-27/don.txt | 18 +++++++++--------- npc/001-2-27/kaylo.txt | 4 ++-- npc/001-2-29/edouard.txt | 2 +- 13 files changed, 51 insertions(+), 50 deletions(-) (limited to 'npc') diff --git a/npc/000-1/ale.txt b/npc/000-1/ale.txt index 95738a0f..7d3bdf7b 100644 --- a/npc/000-1/ale.txt +++ b/npc/000-1/ale.txt @@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ mesn; mesq l("Ouch..."); next; - mesq l("These heavy boxes are killing me, I don't feel my arms anymore!"); + mesq l("These heavy boxes are killing me, I can't feel my arms anymore!"); next; menu diff --git a/npc/000-1/couwan.txt b/npc/000-1/couwan.txt index 82e69c8a..24bb24fd 100644 --- a/npc/000-1/couwan.txt +++ b/npc/000-1/couwan.txt @@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ switch(select( l("Very nice, indeed!"), - l("I don't see anything else than... water?"))) + l("I don't see anything else other than... water?"))) { case 2: mes ""; diff --git a/npc/001-2-19/lloyd.txt b/npc/001-2-19/lloyd.txt index f39e24e8..7106909a 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-19/lloyd.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-19/lloyd.txt @@ -21,8 +21,8 @@ function enora_quest { speech 5, - l("Black iron... That is a very specific request that you got me!"), - l("Let me check on my inventory book..."), + l("Black iron... That is a very specific request that you have for me!"), + l("Let me check in my inventory book..."), l("..."), l("Yes, I have some! \"5x Black Iron Ingots\""), l("Is this for you or somebody else? Because you need to be registered to obtain these materials."); @@ -38,10 +38,10 @@ break; case 2: speech 1, - l("Chelios... He is part of the blacksmith house, is not he?"), + l("Chelios... He is part of the blacksmith house, is he not?"), l("Since Don settled in Artis he and his band refused to register to the Merchant Guild."), - l("I will close my eyes for once, but only because it is your first time asking for something!"), - l("Sometimes a good merchant need to reach out first. It's on the house, give Chelios my regards!"); + l("I will close my eyes for once, but only because it's your first time asking for something!"), + l("Sometimes a good merchant needs to reach out first. It's on the house, give Chelios my regards!"); emotion 7; break; } @@ -63,7 +63,7 @@ function first_visit { speech 4, l("Welcome!"), - l("My name is Lloyd, I am a representant of the Merchant Guild of Artis."); + l("My name is Lloyd, I am a representative of the Merchant Guild of Artis."); select (l("My name is @@...", strcharinfo(0))); @@ -71,7 +71,7 @@ l("\"@@\", I like this name!", strcharinfo(0)), l("Oh, wait a second..."); narrator 4, - l("Lloyd is searching something on his book."); + l("Lloyd is searching something in his book."); speech 4, l("I see."), l("You are new around here, right?"); @@ -105,7 +105,7 @@ if (Zeny < .@price) { speech 4, - l("You do not seem to have enough money on yourself, come back later!"); + l("You do not seem to have enough money, come back later!"); } else { @@ -125,16 +125,16 @@ function paper_to_deliver { speech 5, - l("Now that you bring up that topic, that remind me of something..."), - l("Not later than today there was this young seller named Fexil that passed by here."), - l("He asked to lend some money and a place to open his store, I think that he asked for a place on the merchant square on the south-west of the city..."), + l("Now that you bring up that topic, that reminds me of something..."), + l("Earlier today there was this young seller named Fexil that passed by here."), + l("He asked to lend some money and a place to open his store, I think that he asked for a place on the merchant squares on the south-west of the city..."), l("Anyway, he forgot his permit when he left the building."), l("Could you bring it to him?"); do { .@q = select (l("Ok, I will bring it to him."), - l("I need more informations first."), + l("I need more information first."), l("I don't have the time.")); switch (.@q) { @@ -145,7 +145,7 @@ break; case 2: speech 5, - l("You should look a seller named Fexil around the merchant square."), + l("You should look for a seller named Fexil around the merchant square."), l("Ask other merchants, they might know where he is."); break; case 3: @@ -247,10 +247,10 @@ .@enora = getq (ArtisQuests_Enora); menuint rif (.@enora == 2, l("I'm searching some black iron ingots.")), 0, - l("I would like to deposit some item."), 1, - l("I would like to manage my money."), 2, + l("I would like to store some items."), 1, + l("I would like to deposit some money."), 2, l("What is this guild for?"), 3, - l("The guild has any work for me?"), 4, + l("Does the guild has any work for me right now?"), 4, l("Bye."), 5; switch (@menuret) diff --git a/npc/001-2-2/moon.txt b/npc/001-2-2/moon.txt index e073d990..42fb137a 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-2/moon.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-2/moon.txt @@ -86,7 +86,7 @@ if (.@q < 2) { mesn "Narrator"; - mes col(l("You see a young elven girl, with a grimace of pain on her face."), 9); + mes col(l("You see a young elven girl, with a strong sense of pain in her face."), 9); next; } else @@ -110,7 +110,7 @@ L_Story: next; mesq l("I didn't notice that a Pikpik was in my way, and when I stepped on it, my foot was full of spikes."); next; - mesq l("Luckily the beach is nearby, and somehow I could come home."); + mesq l("Luckily the beach is nearby, and somehow I made my way home."); next; mesq l("Please bring me some @@ so I can pull out these spikes from my foot.", getitemlink("CrocClaw")); next; diff --git a/npc/001-2-21/julia.txt b/npc/001-2-21/julia.txt index abb1b63f..1296b097 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-21/julia.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-21/julia.txt @@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ L_Menu: l("Is it possible to go back to the island?"), L_Island, l("Could you explain to me where I am?"), L_WhereIam, l("What happened to me?"), L_What, - l("Can I read these rules again?"), L_Rules, + l("Can I read the rules again?"), L_Rules, l("Nothing, sorry."), L_Quit; L_YNMenu: @@ -104,7 +104,7 @@ L_What: L_Rules: mes ""; mesn; - mesq l("Of course, they are on the left wall, go have a look at them."); + mesq l("Of course, they are on the left wall. Go have a look at them."); next; mesq l("Do you have any other questions for me?"); next; diff --git a/npc/001-2-22/alige.txt b/npc/001-2-22/alige.txt index cdad1663..6e906446 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-22/alige.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-22/alige.txt @@ -110,9 +110,9 @@ L_ExplainHiding: setcamnpc; mes ""; mesn; - mesq l("No, I can't. I won't! All is I wanted was to travel across the seas for fun, growl... sniff. And in this chink in the wall, as you can see, I have lots of fun."); + mesq l("No, I can't. I won't! All I wanted was to travel across the seas for fun, growl... sniff. And in this chink in the wall, as you can see, I have lots of fun."); next; - mesq l("Oh... um... actually... all is I wanted was to get to Artis. Err... but I didn't, ah, have enough money to pay for the ferry!"); + mesq l("Oh... um... actually... all I wanted was to get to Artis. Err... but I didn't, ah, have enough money to pay for the ferry!"); next; mesq l("Please don't tell people you saw me. I don't want to be decapitated or get thrown into the sea as food for sharks, or get my hair mussed!"); next; @@ -132,7 +132,7 @@ L_AboutReward: L_Accept: menu l("Understood, I will help you."), L_FirstAccepted, - l("We arrived to Artis today."), L_Artis, + l("We arrived in Artis today."), L_Artis, l("I think I should report you to the crew members."), -; setcamnpc; @@ -144,7 +144,7 @@ L_Artis: setcamnpc; mes ""; mesn; - mesq l("Of course, so why do I still see plain sea from the porthole?"); + mesq l("Of course, so why do I still see open sea from the porthole?"); next; mesq l("I wonder who is in delarium now..."); next; @@ -232,7 +232,7 @@ L_NoReward: L_Drunk: setcamnpc; speech 5, - l("I asked for food but... *hips* Ah, that'll do so!"); + l("I asked for food but... *hips* Ah, that'll do nicely!"); restorecam; goto L_GiveFood; @@ -283,7 +283,7 @@ L_IntroMenu: l("Yes."), L_GiveFood, l("Where can I find some food?"), L_FindFood, l("Why are you hiding?") + " " + l("Why don't you come out?"), L_ExplainHiding, - l("We arrived to Artis today."), L_Artis, + l("We arrived in Artis today."), L_Artis, l("I think I should report you to the crew members."), -; setcamnpc; @@ -299,7 +299,7 @@ L_FindFood: next; mesq l("I'd like to catch one of them, but they fly away when I try."); next; - mesq l("Walkig around a bit, it'll be easy for you to catch one, I bet. Impale one of them for me please."); + mesq l("Walking around a bit, it'll be easy for you to catch one, I bet. Impale one of them for me please."); next; restorecam; mesn "Narrator"; diff --git a/npc/001-2-22/note.txt b/npc/001-2-22/note.txt index 9abaeb18..03e79769 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-22/note.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-22/note.txt @@ -25,9 +25,9 @@ L_Content: mes l("Don't worry sister, I didn't forget you"); next; - mes l("I hope to come back at home when days will be better"); - mes l("And when we will got enought money to don't depend of anybody"); + mes l("I hope to come back home when the days are better"); + mes l("And when we have enough money to support ourselves and not depend on anybody"); - mes l("Dearly yours, Dan") + "\""; + mes l("Sincerely yours, Dan") + "\""; close; } diff --git a/npc/001-2-22/peter.txt b/npc/001-2-22/peter.txt index 5cfe02f5..53b8417e 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-22/peter.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-22/peter.txt @@ -154,7 +154,7 @@ OnReturnFail: OnReturnWin: .@peter = getq(ShipQuests_Peter); mesn; - mesq l("Thanks again for helping me. Drats these rattos for infesting our fair vessal! They are a permanent problem; so you can always be sure that your help with the extermination, to keep their numbers under control, is very welcome indeed. But the situation is, that I can give you a reward only the one time."); + mesq l("Thanks again for helping me. Drats these rattos for infesting our fair vessal! They are a permanent problem; so you can always be sure that your help with the extermination will be greatly appreciated, to keep their numbers under control, is very welcome indeed. unfortunately, I can give you a reward only the one time."); next; if (.@peter == 3 || .@peter == 4) diff --git a/npc/001-2-24/nard.txt b/npc/001-2-24/nard.txt index 2b334d7c..e88b5848 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-24/nard.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-24/nard.txt @@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ speech 5, l("We just returned from a long journey and Artis is a good city to rest and to conclude our exchange."), - l("I think that we will stay in port for a great time, though, if you want to visit some near place we could take you there."), + l("I think that we will stay in port for a great time, though, if you want to visit some nearby we could take you there."), l("Do you want to go somewhere?"); switch (select(l("Lost Island."), @@ -69,7 +69,7 @@ L_Lost : mes ""; mesn; - mesq l("Julia make appeal the Legion of Aemil to search you, exit the ship and you should see your escort!"); + mesq l("Julia made an appeal to the Legion of Aemil to get in touch with you, exit the ship and you should see your escort!"); next; closedialog; diff --git a/npc/001-2-26/ivan.txt b/npc/001-2-26/ivan.txt index 45a45db8..6538eeb6 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-26/ivan.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-26/ivan.txt @@ -1,3 +1,4 @@ + // Evol scripts. // Author: // Reid @@ -10,13 +11,13 @@ speech 5, l("I am an alchemist, I bear the name of Ivan."), l("I work under the protection and the supervision of the Legion of Aemil."), - l("Alchemical studies are prohibited in every cities of the Archipelagos, do not dare to practice in a public zone!"); + l("Alchemical studies are prohibited in every city of the Archipelagos, do not dare to practice it in a public zone!"); return; } function enora_quest { - speech 5, l("How many? What kind? I can produce two dozen of box per day."); + speech 5, l("How many? What kind? I can produce two dozen boxes per day."); select (l("5 Pibberies Infusion.")); @@ -27,7 +28,7 @@ select (l("You missunderstood, it's 5 potions.")); speech 5, - l("Why the Legion would request my help for only 5 potions?"), + l("Why would the Legion request my help for only 5 potions?"), l("Is this some kind of joke?!"); switch (select (l("Enora needs them."), diff --git a/npc/001-2-27/don.txt b/npc/001-2-27/don.txt index 17c50eee..fddde8a5 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-27/don.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-27/don.txt @@ -17,12 +17,12 @@ function card_explanation { speech 5, l("There are two different kinds of card, the first changes the style of your clothes, the second changes their stats."), - l("I am not an expert of the first kind, but I know what I am talking about for the second."), + l("I am not an expert of the first kind, but I know what I am talking about when it comes to improving equipment"), l("A stat card works on different pieces of equipment."), - l("Each equipment has a predefined slot number."), - l("Each cards improve your gear by a ratio or a fixed number on a predefined stat."), - l("Like, a defensive mythril card can be used on any mythril equipment, and it will improve of 5% the defense of the latter."), - l("You just have to select it, you choose on which piece of equipment you want to use it, and you are done."); + l("Each piece of equipment has a predefined slot number."), + l("Each card improves your gear by a ratio or a fixed number on a predefined stat."), + l("Like, a defensive mythril card can be used on any mythril equipment, and it will improve the defense by 5% of the latter."), + l("You just have to select the card, then you choose which piece of equipment you want to use it on, and you are done."); return; } @@ -34,16 +34,16 @@ select (l("What about Chelios?")); speech 5, - l("Chelios was stubborn in his youth, he could not stop to annoy me with his questions while I was working at the forge."), + l("Chelios was stubborn in his youth, he never stopped annoying me with his questions while I was working at the forge."), l("He did not change while growing up, I repeatedly asked him to leave the forge but in the end he installed himself in front of it..."), - l("He is mature and he rarely ask questions so I am fine. I can not stand the sight of a whinger anyway."); + l("He is mature and he rarely ask questions so I am fine. I can not stand the sight of a whiner anyway."); return; } function good_blacksmith { speech 5, - l("I do not like to brag about it but you will not find any better blacksmith on the whole island."), - l("If you need somebody to craft a weapon or a plate from a diagrams I am the one that you need."); + l("I do not like to brag about it but you won't find a better blacksmith on the whole island."), + l("If you need somebody to craft a weapon or a plate from diagrams I am the one that you need."); switch (select (l("Can I craft them myself?"), l("Ok."))) diff --git a/npc/001-2-27/kaylo.txt b/npc/001-2-27/kaylo.txt index 641fd93b..c447f7e3 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-27/kaylo.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-27/kaylo.txt @@ -22,11 +22,11 @@ speech 5, l("I used a card to improve my clothes."), l("There're two different kinds of card, the first changes the style of your clothes, the second changes their stats."), - l("You should discuss with Don and Calypsan if you want to learn more about it, they are master on this area!"); + l("You should discuss with Don and Calypsan if you want to learn more about it, they are masters on this area!"); break; case 3: speech 5, - l("You are on the Blacksmith's house, by Jove!"), + l("You are in the Blacksmith's house, by Jove!"), l("Don is a renowned blacksmith throughout Andorra it's crazy that you don't know about him."); break; case 4: diff --git a/npc/001-2-29/edouard.txt b/npc/001-2-29/edouard.txt index 753b285b..9f6d7ad6 100644 --- a/npc/001-2-29/edouard.txt +++ b/npc/001-2-29/edouard.txt @@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ speech 12, l("I am new in this town, just like you are."), l("I came here, looking for a better life."), - l("I still didn't find a cheap building to open my own business, so for now I stay in this inn."), + l("I still didn't find a cheap building to open my own business, so for now I will stay in this inn."), l("I'm a barber, you see. I can change your hair style or color to your liking."); Edouard_StoryTold = 1; -- cgit v1.2.3-60-g2f50